walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
