Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
