No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
