I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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