how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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