Just cropdusted the office
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Randomize
