A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
