on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We don't watch enough power rangers
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
