He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Randomize
