I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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