I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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