Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i came on her dog
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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