Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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