I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
