Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
should my penis look like a turkey
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
