We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
