Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
