i wish peter jackson would direct porn
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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