but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
