i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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