so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
