can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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