There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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