I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
