I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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