do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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