Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The power of my boobs compel you
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
