Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
