Don't you send me to vm
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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