he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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