i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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