We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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