I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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