if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
