Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
