Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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