you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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