Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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