she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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