Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
