and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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