So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
porn star boner night. come get it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
