it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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