My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
