Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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