Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
