Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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