she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
