Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
