how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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