i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
