Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
